So, I haven't posted in 11 days. I know, I know. I haven't really even been online - if that's a valid enough excuse. I don't really have anything to say. I have not accomplished all that much in the last couple weeks - especially this week. I may be starting some 4-hand repertoire with a girl up here working on her master's. We're in the same ward and started talking about maybe doing some - so that's something, I suppose.
As far as the other two elements I mentioned in the first entry - physical and spiritual.
1) Physical - going alright. I wish I had more time during the work week. But with my schedule so crazy with two hours of work here and there, it's hard to find adequate time for the gym. However, this past Monday was awsome! I ran about 43% of my workout, which means I would have run a total of about 2 miles. It felt great. Hopefully after I get off work this afternoon, I'll have a just as successful result.
2) Spiritual - what can I really say - I'm doing the things that I'm supposed to be doing but I need to do them better and to the next level. I'm taking an institute class this semester - the 2nd half of the Old Testament. I took the 1st half last semester. We were talking about David this week and the descent he took from this really great guy to creating such massive sins - adultery and murder. It's really humbling. Anyway, before we really got into discussing David, Sister Fernandez asked us to list people from the Old Testament that we would put into heroes category and then in the people to learn from category. I kept thinking about this story during Moses' time. I think it's found in Numbers. Anyway, Moses sent 12 spies into the land of Canaan. Two of them came back and said that it was a wonderful place - flowing with milk and honey and that it would be a good thing for the children of Israel to go to Canaan. The other ten reported that it was desolate and a horrid place and that their cause would only fail if they went to Canaan. I'm really, really paraphrasing. The children of Israel mainly believed the ten spies and as a result they had to wander the wilderness for 40 years. How often are we told things and given marvelous revelation and insight so specific for us and we become scared and disbelieve? I really relate to that story. I've been so scared to believe that maybe I am better than I think - that perhaps I really can do what I know I can, that I haven't really even tried. I thought that it was better not to know than to fail. Well, I'm telling you now that I was wrong. I feel like I've been wandering in the wilderness as a result of my disbelief - my lack of faith. Well, I'm trying to fix that but it's hard when all around me I hear people tell me that I'm only good for a job that doesn't pay the bills - that I need to work in jobs that I hate because what kind of future do I really have? This is coming from people close to me. I'm telling you now that if you can't support me and believe in me, then I don't know if there's going to be a lot of room for you in my life - close or not, family or not. I can't try to rise with an anchor around my ankle.
Anyway, that's all I have to say for now. I'll try to check in next week. For now, back to reality and work. It doesn't really pay the bills, but it helps.
The Mad Pianist
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