I admit it: I am so discontented with my life. I feel like I have given control over to others my entire life. My family expects me to be a certain person, act a certain way, believe a certain way. It has leaked into the other people in my life. I'm sick of it. It's like I can't breathe - I'm seriously suffocating. It becomes more apparent every day as I struggle to regain the control over my life, my addictions, who I am.
I was at church yesterday and just kept thinking how fake everybody was being. The thing of it is that it is not a new phenomenon. They haven't changed - they've always been so phony. I've changed - I am changing. I'm seeing things a little more clearly. I am just not sure what to do with this new sight (to put it that way).
Where is the line between being happy and feeling guilty? This is my life - I shouldn't have to justify it to anybody.
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